The Legend of Cookie Legends

The origin story of the stories

A long time ago, a lot of people were hungry. They weren't starving, but they needed a little something. It was probably around 4:00 or so — you know? The minutes went by and the people grew hungrier. They grew more tired. They became angry. And by 4:30, it looked as if they'd have to wait until dinner for the misery to end. "Dinner could be like ... two hours!" one of them cried to the heavens. 

As their shout hit the clouds, a great light appeared, and from this light came a rain of cookies. The people rejoiced. And when the light vanished there was a mythical English bulldog amidst the cookies. In his jaws he held a book, which he laid at the shouting man's feet. This was the good book. It was full of cookie legends, which have been exclusively procured here, and which will be shared for your enlightenment. The Cookie Legends will never die.